Why the hell do we care that the president said shit? What the fuck? He should be saying more than shit. You can say shit on regular cable now, what's the big fucking deal? Does this really deserve a section in the news?
I'm at work, refreshing CNN and BBC websites every so often to see what the "Breaking News" is...Olmert seems to be out for blood. I'm really conflicted in how I feel about that. Yes, terrorists are bad. Yes, they "started" this particular debacle by crossing the boarder, but Israel made it worse. Who is right? Who is wrong? I sure don't know. All I see is them one upping each other. Who suffers the most though? The innocent bystanders. The Lebanese who are stuck in the middle. The Israelis and the Palestinians who want nothing to do with more bombings and shootings and violence. The people who just want to go to work in the morning so they can feed and shelter their families. Do you actually go to work when you're country is being bombed? I can't imagine sitting here in an office doing payroll if there was bombing going on in a city nearby. I try to imagine what it would be like, I can feel my skin crawl and tingles run up my spine, but I'll never really understand unless I'm in the midst of it.
My friend, formerly know as ex-roomie and I were talking about this a bit and I said to him, "If we go to war, I'm joining the army." I, of course, had to clarify this because what I really meant was that if shit starts happening here, I'm going Red Dawn. Granted I would probably just wind up helping out in triage or something like that. No one in his or her right mind would give me a machine gun. I'd turn into Rambette. Because there is no well in hell I would just go about my normal life if shit like that started happening here. Roomie asked if I really believed it was going to happen here. I said yes...to an extent and in some form. I could list a hundred reasons why I think this but that's just too depressing.
This whole week has been depressing and sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who knows it's happening. People just go about their day like nothing is going on outside. They talk nonsense about bullshit topics. They moan and cry because it's too hot. They blare their horns and music because they're in a rush to get somewhere they believe is important. I’m afraid to ask them if they’ve been watching the news because if they say no, I’d have to contain myself from slapping them or shaking them and saying, “Don’t you know what’s going on out there!!??!!”
I went for a smoke break earlier. I saw a butterfly. I watched it for a while, curious as to where it would go. It floated high above my head then fluttered over a patch of trees before I lost sight of it. I was sad for a moment because I wished it were me flying away. I wished I could live an instinctual existence with no concern for things beyond the scope of survival. No thoughts. No worries. No choices. Just living free.
Someone needs to yell, "STOP!" right now before it's too late. As it is, this democratic engine that some people want to enforce (or as some say liberate) upon other countries had now been turned against us. Via "democratic elections" both Hamas and Hezbollah are political parties with ties to government. How insane is that? It boggles my mind that the one thing we pride ourselves on being--a democratic society--is now a weapon against other people. Granted both Hamas and Hezbollah look out for their own people and they were elected, but that doesn't mean they are just in their cause. Ah Democracy, the political system of swiss cheese.
Is it the end of the world? I wonder how many people were in church yesterday praying for salvation. If you follow the bible, we've had plenty of "signs" already. Famine, disease, great natural disasters, wasn't there even a bunch of dolphins ashore earlier this year? I'm not sure I believe in prophecies, but I will say that someone knew that war over religion, land, power, and profit wasn't going to end in their time. They knew it was just going to get worse. It has exponentially. Will it ever end? Will we end up the butt of our own Hollywood jokes? I hope not, but the hope of one girl does no good in this world.
I read a book called Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. He wrote the Maniac Magee book that I loved. This one was just as awesome. I highly recommend it to anyone who loves to read, is in high school, or is a little bit lost in their life. It'll make you feel better.