Not exactly Fun Friday...but IMPORTANT!

Watching Glee this was a very interesting experience this week. While I had an inkling two of the major events were going to happen, one of the actual incidents struck me hard. Seeing the transition of David Karofsky’s character (which I totally saw coming from season 1) really made me feel for the kid. It wasn’t right or fair of him to do what he did to Kurt, but after learning his whole story, you had to feel a little bad for him, after all, he is still a kid in High School. And good on the writers for having Kurt forgive. Forgiveness is powerful.

So yeah, I have first hand experiences with bullies.

I was bullied in school for a very, very long time. I remember the majority of it came from Middle & High School after leaving the safety of the friends I grew up with in Elementary School…though I will say I did get into a hair-pulling fight or two in the 5th grade. (You know who you are...lol)

Anyway, as some of you may or may not know, I’ve always been a chubby girl. I wasn’t overly fat in Middle School, but when you are “different” even with a bit of extra weight, you are a target for bullies. So, I was picked on, called names by both boys and girls for years. However two incidents stayed with me after all these years and probably changed me forever at the time.

The first happened in Middle School. I wore a Rabbit Fur Coat to school one day. I don’t remember much about where I got the coat, I think from my Grandmother, but it was a treat for me to wear it. It was a very pretty coat, and to a 12-13 year old girl, it can almost make you feel like a movie star. Well, my bullies were full on awful that day. We got into a heated argument, back and forth, probably over something they said to me. I tried to stand up for myself. I tried to be the bigger person. It didn’t work. When homeroom ended, one of the bullies followed me out into the hall. I was walking fast. She ran up behind me and pushed me so hard that me and my coat when sliding down the hallway and crashed into the wall. I must have traveled 15 feet or so! Humiliated, with everyone laughing at me, I got up, ran away and went to class.

I honestly don’t remember the immediate days after that…it was twenty five years ago (OMG!), but I’m sure it wasn’t fun for me. I can laugh at it now, because it was kinda funny, but not when it happens to you.

I didn’t tell my parents about the bullies. Not sure why, maybe because I thought I was tough enough to take care of myself. And I was, but not until four years later.

Sadly in most school systems, you are stuck with the same people for years due to homerooms and alphabetical seating. So yes, in High School, those same bullies were always there. HS was worse than MS by leaps and bounds. More boys to crush on who pick on you because you’re “fat”, more pretty girls to laugh at you in the locker room during gym. More teachers to notice and not do anything about it.

During the 11th grade something changed in me. I wish for the life of me I could remember how it happened because I would pass it onto every kid in every school in every country. I’d bottle it and give it out for free. What was this trick? I stopped caring what people thought about me. I didn’t stop trying to “fit in”, if you will, but I stopped trying to dress like everyone else, act like everyone else, or “be” like anyone else. I stopped wearing make up like all the girls. I stopped trying to be friends with the popular kids. I hung out with friends that liked me for me, and a lot of teachers that did care, and didn’t give two shits about anyone else.

Sometime after adopting this “I don’t care what you think about me anymore” mantra, the second incident happened, once again in homeroom. One of the bullies started on me. Again, I have no clue what it was about, but after several minutes of her going on and on, I stood up, stared her in the face and said something to the effect of: “You know what? Go ahead, hit me. That’s what you want right? Go…do it. Right here, right now. If not, leave me the hell alone!”

The poor homeroom teacher had no idea what was going on. Most of the classroom didn’t even notice, but the bully did. She didn’t hit me. I think she was shocked that I called her out in front of everyone and didn’t say anything afterwards that I recall.

Did the constant bullying stop? Yep, for the most part it did. The name calling continued here and there, but from that point on it didn’t bother me as much as it used to because I started using this line: “Yeah, I may be fat but you are ____ (insert term like ‘mean’, ‘ugly’, ‘have a big nose’—hey I was still a kid and needed a comeback) and at least I can lose weight!”

And you know what? I was right. I eventually lost weight. Okay, not all of it yet, but it’s hard! (LOL) Now I don’t know if those bullies are still mean and/or ugly, well okay, yes I do, some of them are on Facebook and some are probably are still mean. But I will be honest. I don’t care. I’m not friends with them. I probably wouldn’t even bring it up if I saw them again in person, which I may because my 20th reunion is coming up soon. Though I am curious if any of them will come up to me and remember what they did and apologize. That would be really interesting. I'm not the type to hold a grudge, so I guess you can say I've forgiven, but like most major events in my life, I won't forget. It's a lesson learned.

So here I am, 20 years later, with a good head on my shoulders, a kind heart, a tough skin, and most importantly, not a bully or being bullied anymore. It’s quite possible I could have been a bully due to my home life, but I chose not to inflict my anger and pain on other people and I was very aware that if I was going through crap at home, other kids were too. Bullies usually have issues of their own but it’s very hard for kids to make that connection. Sometimes bullies don’t know where that anger and pain stems from, some have little if any support at home, and take it out on the closest and easiest targets they can find, and for many, that’s classmates and neighborhood kids. I will not go on a rant about how parents need to be involved, because while they do and should, eventually the responsibility to know the difference between right and wrong falls on your own shoulders.

This week there has been a lot of “It Gets Better” talk and to some extent it is true, but life is hard and full of challenges and obstacles. Don't expect it to just get better when you leave school. You have to take control and make yourself better to make “things” better around you. The message I would rather people get is that no matter what you look like, what your personality is, where you came from, what color, religion, or sexual orientation you are, it has nothing to do with the kind of person you can be. You don’t have to be a bigot like your parents. You don’t have to be a bully like your teammates. You don’t need to make people feel small to make yourself feel better like your coworkers. You don’t have to be ignorant of the world anymore and hurt people who are different.

You have to change how you view people, how you react to situations, and most importantly learn when to stand up for yourself or walk away. It can be tricky but it can be done. There is a place in this world for everyone, but sometimes you have to step outside your comfort zone and seek them out. When you do, you’ll realize that the small fraction of people who may not accept you for who you or feel the need to hurt you may have some very deep seeded issues of their own and the truth is, they don’t make you who you are anyway, you do.

Q&A Thursday with Molly Dean!

Today's Q&A is with YA Author Molly Dean!

Enjoy & Comment!

What is the worst thing you’ve written, how did you learn or know it was bad, and what did you learn from it?

The worst would have to be an extremely long, soap opera type ‘novel’ with a convoluted plot and exaggerated characters.  I wrote this in my late teens. The worst of it was my constant commentary on the state of the weather—the status of the sun or the shape of the clouds, etc, etc. I mentioned some aspect of weather on every page. I didn’t realize I did this, until someone pointed it out to me.  I learned—and am still learning—to tighten and even limit my descriptions of nature, even though I love it. In another vein, I am learning to let my characters emerge and speak for themselves—not force them to be a certain way.

Why did you start writing and when did you decide to go professional?

I started writing simply because I loved to. Stories kept rolling around inside my head. I began my career as a photographer, doing mainly editorial work. But I tried my hand at writing articles to go with the pictures—and it worked!  Although I still love visual stuff, art and photography--the writing moved in and took over my life.

Do you write in more than one genre? Which ones and which do you like the best?

I do. Sometimes I gravitate toward fantasy. As an example, my next novel is about kids who hide a dragon in a basement and feed him cornflakes. He is peaceable and lovable, but finds he must battle a dreadful foe.

Other times I prefer writing real-life stories with an emphasis on character. I love focusing on young people and children, maybe because there is a part of me that never grew up.

Do you read other author’s books when you’re writing? If so, do you read the same genre or something different?

I am always reading something. Problem is I wish I had time to read more. I don’t necessarily read the same genre I am writing about.

What is the most difficult part of the entire writing process for you? Queries, pitches, editing..etc.

That’s easy. I am a shy, low-profile type person. So, it is hard for me to make pitches, to get out there and say, ‘come buy my book…’

If you could have the same type of career as any author currently publishing who would it be and why?

The first name that comes to mind is southern author Ferrol Sams.  He writes about what he knows and with such grace. Approaching ninety, he continues to live in the same town where most of his novels are set, maintain a happy, positive outlook, and keep a terrific sense of humor.  Also, might be fun to experience the life of J.K. Rowlings for about a day!

Book Blurb: Ten-year-old Daniel Weston, son of a high-powered Atlanta attorney, expects to be bored spending the summer with his aunt and hated cousin Sabrina in the rustic mountain cottage belonging to his great-aunt Delilah. Instead, he finds himself enmeshed in intrigue: why is Delilah in Ireland searching for a missing granddaughter, and for what reason has the girl disappeared? Daniel also doesn't bargain for a blossoming friendship with feisty, adventure-loving local girl, Kat McDougal.


Kat shows Daniel his great-aunt's 'twilight garden,' a special place flaunting pale, fragrant flowers and silvery foliage. The garden, which has been allowed to grow wild, has a curious appeal. Things are "different" in the garden, magical.


Against the backdrop of night meetings at the garden, Daniel and Kat try to solve the mysteries involving the people that surround them. But Daniel, grappling with the shock of his parents' recent separation, starts to wonder what he can count on and if he can believe anything about anybody.


Can these two children find their place in an adult world even as they realize that they have no one but themselves to lean on?


Visit Molly online: www.mollydean.com.

Q&A Thursday with Scott Harper

Today's Q&A is with Author Scott Harper!

Enjoy & Comment!

What is the worst thing you’ve written, how did you learn or know it was bad, and what did you learn from it?

The worst thing I’ve ever written would have to be my first-ever attempt at writing a novel. I began work on it as a child of 10-years-old. I had just seen the Disney film “The Black Cauldron” after badgering my parents into taking me to see it. I was lucky enough to be able to see it in theaters during its VERY short theatrical run. After watching the film, I was hooked on fantasy.

Being a writer is the only thing I ever wanted to do. So, at the age of 10, I started work on my first “novel”. As it turned out, I had NO idea what I was doing. Between half and three quarters of what I tried to do I didn’t know the words for or how to describe. Due to that, I ended up drawing most of the story and telling it through illustrations. Now, at 36, I don’t even remember what the title of that mess was. But it WAS a mess! I don’t think I ever even finished it. What I did write of it was a conglomeration of drawings and text—a badly-done illustrated novel.

That “project” taught me that an author can never stop learning and stop making themselves better. It taught me that, if you’re going to write something, you need to be prepared for what that entails—knowing your subject matter and being able to put it into words. I’m an avid reader. When I read, I’m not just reading, I’m studying and learning so that I can continue the progress of becoming better at what I do.

Why did you start writing and when did you decide to go professional?

Writing is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do for a living. Anyone who has known me for my entire life may well remember the time when I was 5- or 6-years-old and announced that I was going to go get a job at the local library. I wanted to work there because I wanted to work with books. When my parents pointed out to me that I was “a bit too young” to get a job there, my response was, “Fine! I’ll open my own library!” When asked where I planned to get the books, I firmly stated that I would write them myself. I then began stapling papers together to form pages and starting writing what amounted to short stories on them. Writing is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do.

In 1993 I graduated high school. Luckily, I was able to partake in my school’s early graduation program and be freed from the horrors of high school after only half of my Senior year. Hating school with a burning passion, I leapt on that opportunity with both feet when it was offered to me! When my Senior Semester, as I refer to it, ended I started writing more. It was then that I started submitting work to magazines, trying to get published.

Do you write in more than one genre? Which ones and which do you like the best?

I’m very multi-genre, yes. As of January 2012, I have over 30 short stories and seven  novels published. I’ve been hired to write a comic book miniseries, website content and screenplays. A large chunk of that body of work, especially in the short story area, has been fantasy. Due to that, people used to label me as a “fantasy author”. More recently, most of my work has been in the horror genre since my fourth novel, “Predators or Prey?”, the first installment of my Wendy Markland series, was published by Dark Castle Lords Publications.

“Predators or Prey?” has sparked a lot of interest. Within two weeks of the books initial e-book release, I was contacted by someone who wanted to turn the book into a film. Sadly, that’s since fallen through after that project morphed from a film into a TV series. But, there is continued interest from other parties in turning “Predators or Prey?” into a movie. Actually, at the moment, two of those parties are trying to pull together a $3 million budget for the making of the film. There is also a comic book series in the works—written and lettered by me—called “Wendy Markland: Chronicles Nocturnum”. The first story arc of that series will be a comic book adaptation of “Predators or Prey?”.

Due to the response I’m getting from my horror work, I’m continuing to explore that genre. Still, despite working in horror, action/adventure, science fiction and doing some non-fiction work in the form of website content, my first literature love is fantasy. I actually have an idea for a new fantasy project that’s been bouncing around in my mind for some time now that I really, really want to write. But, to do what I have in mind, it’s going to have to be big—a series of lengthy novels, an on-going comic book series or a TV series. Anything smaller wouldn’t match the scale of what I have in mind for this and would force me to leave out huge chunks of the story.

Do you read other author’s books when you’re writing? If so, do you read the same genre or something different?

Always.

As for whether or not they’re the same genre, that happens sometimes as pure coincidence. At the moment, I’m working on my forthcoming novel. It’s an action/adventure called “Quintana Roo, Yucatan”. It’s set in the jungles of Mexico’s Yucatan peninsula and is the longest thing I’ve written to date. It’s undergoing editing at the moment. I’m also working on Issue #1 of “Wendy Markland: Chronicles Nocturnum”. The Issue #1 script is written, but I’m coordinating with the producer who’s picked the project up and the artist to get Issue #1 complete. Anyway, throughout this, I’d actually been going back and rereading my collection of “Doctor Who” novels. For Christmas, I was given the first three books in Jim Butcher’s series “The Codex Alera”. So, I’ve put the “Doctor Who” books aside for the moment and just finished the second of those three fantasy novels. I tend to be very eclectic, if you’ve not guessed that already!

What is the most difficult part of the entire writing process for you? Queries, pitches, editing..etc.

For me, really, the most difficult part is finding funding for the TV/film projects I’m involved with. Take “MoonWraith” for example. “MoonWraith” is a character-driven action/horror series set in medieval Europe against the backdrop of a war between humans and werewolves. The on-going conflict between the two sides isn’t the basis for the series; it’s really the excuse for it. The stories I have planned revolve around the characters on both sides of the conflict. At present, I have a list of 42 people who want to be involved in the pilot episode as cast or crew. A couple of those are fairly well-known names. Yet I’ve been unable to find anyone to produce/distribute the pilot.

TV/film aside, and speaking strictly as a novelist, the queries tend to be the most difficult part of the process for me.

If you could have the same type of career as any author currently publishing who would it be and why?

I would have to opt for Jim Butcher on this one. Mr. Butcher has had a string of over a dozen New York Times Bestsellers in a row with his “Dresden Files” series—of which I’m a huge fan, by the way—in addition to his “Codex Alera” series and other work. “The Dresden Files” was even translated into a short-lived TV series. Sadly, the producers opted for a lot of changes between the books and the TV series and it didn’t survive that mauling. Mr. Butcher has also written original comic book projects. For me, being able to mimic the career that Jim Butcher has as an author would be a dream come true. Just being able to meet Mr. Butcher and sit and talk with him would be a dream come true!

Book blurb:

“Shadow Castes: Book 1 – Aspects”

Felix Hollerman is a werewolf, struggling with what he unexpectedly became nearly two years ago. The stress and pressure of dealing with his lycanthropy has pushed him to the edge. When Nephele Kolb arrives unexpectedly, also claiming to be a lycanthrope and offering to help Felix change his life, he is shocked and thrilled. However, when his training under her tutelage blossoms into romance and a werewolf hunter and a rival pack arrive in the area, Felix’s life becomes a lot more complicated.

Meanwhile, superstar author and psychic vampire Eugen Zahn is finding his own life made more complex and dangerous by another of his own kind as well as a new reporter with a grudge. Events in Eugen’s life, unbeknownst to him, are putting him on a collision course with Felix Hollerman and the mess his own life has become.

Author Bio: Scott Harper is the author of more than 30 published short stories and several novels. There has been talk, from several fronts, about turning his fourth novel, "Predators or Prey?", the first book in his Wendy Markland series, into a live-action project.

Harper graduated from Marysville High School in 1993 and began screenwriting in 2007, after the publication of several short stories and novels, and has worked on projects for James Tucker Productions and 11th Dimension Films. He is currently involved with several projects, covering literature, film and comic books.

My website: http://www.wix.com/scott_harper/scott-harper 

Twitter: @Scott_Harper 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorScottHarper 

MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/scott_harper_author 

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/scottharperauthor

I'm not obsessed...it's a phase!

You know crazy obsessive fans, right? I'm not talking about the avid collectors, experts, or even the cos-players, but the people that are REALLY scary crazy about something or someone, where all they do is live and breath what they love.

Okay, that's not me. I'm sure I have the ability to get there, but the problem is, I like WAY to much stuff. However, I tend to devour things I love a lightning speeds, especially if I'm behind the trend which happens on rare occasions. :-)

I go through what I like to call phases.

These phases can last for a couple days, weeks, or sometimes months.

Take for example Harry Potter. I was actually in England before the books became uber-popular here. My sister was young at the time and read the first book. She asked me to pick her up something Potter-esque since I was going to be there. I found a cute Potter Beanie Baby and bought it. I also wandered into a book store. Yes, it's true, I could have purchased UK Hardbacks of the first two or three books, but I had a small bag, already stuffed with books I wanted to read at night, and didn't have the room.

Big mistake. I would LOVE to have those copies right about now.

Anyway, I watched the first movie with my sis when it came out and I was hooked! I read every book available at the time, four of them I think, and finished them within a week or so. I read reviews, blog posts, news articles, cast bios, you name it. I absorbed everything Harry Potter.

I do this often.

I've phased-out over everything from TV shows like PowerPuff Girls and Doctor Who to Movies: Lord of the Rings, HP, and even Books, JR Ward, Lee Child...etc, just to name a few.

I've never made a fan site, but thought about it.

I've never dressed up in costume, again, thought about it.

I just can't seem to help myself when I really love something.

Right now, I'm on a Sherlock kick. The new BBC show is utterly fantastic. It's made me realize that I need to write a mystery.

Mystery is my first love. It started way back with Encyclopedia Brown. I love trying to figure things out. The majority of the shows I watch usually have some type of mystery; Castle, Bones, LOST, Supernatural, you get the idea...

Mystery has blended some with the Suspense and Thriller genre, but there is something exciting about a straight mystery. You start with the end result then try to work your way back to the how and why. Who can resist? I can't, maybe you can?

Do you obsess over anything? What do you do to get it out of your system so you can move on to the next phase? I'm curious.